I’ve had a weird last couple of months im ngl. Living alone really gives me so much time to be in my head about things. I love it and hate it at the same time. I’ve been wrestling with a lot of jealousy and envy lately. A ton of comparisons. All while being mixed with feeling constantly unsatisfied in the midst of what I do acknowledge as success. And it’s tricky because I think im so used to trying to make it always appear like im totally chilling to the public eye, but 99% of the time im the complete opposite lol. Im so emotional. Ive probably cried more times this year than any previous year that i can remember. But it’s not out of sadness like im not emo or anything (nothing against emo’s lol) I just feel more emotionally aware these days. which I think is a good thing? I fuck with it. Back to comparisons rq tho. Comparisons are so weird - no matter who you are, there is quite literally always something or someone with something better than you. So what im trying to learn to do is have perspective with it, and continually be content with what I have bc I do really feel so grateful for my life. But the constant want for more is my achilles heel.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I value recently and what my identity truly lies in. When I was making most of the songs to SPILL, I felt as if I was wearing a mask to try and appear tougher than I was - which was a very real thing personally for me during that time period. But after I made “Kiss” it became more apparent to me that im NOT that tough of a person in most cases. Im the one that gets walked on easily because im too nice, not the opposite. And that just seems to be something I cant shake because it’s fully wired within me. So I started to zoom out and figure out what it is that I think makes me, ME. I think I am obsessive. I think im emotionally aware/available. I think im introspective, and I really care about people and how we make each other feel - and I think alot of that is seen within RUN. Only a few songs on SPILL had that feeling, which disappoints me tbh but im still proud of what SPILL was. It captured a real time of difficulty for me. But going into these next songs, I wanted to share that I do comfortably feel at home lyrically again. These songs are obsessive and emotional. They are not angry. They are warm and bright. They are nostalgic and romantic. They are me.